If you’re using Viagra, Cialis or another drug for erectile dysfunction, you should never do poppers, because the combination can lead to an unsafe drop in blood pressure. While they’re not addictive, and they’re a relatively low-risk drug, they do come with potential side effects (certain kinds can damage your eyes, and if you have heart problems or conditions related to blood pressure, they can be dangerous). They exist on the grey market in America - they can’t be sold as a drug, but they can be sold under thinly-veiled alternative purposes, like “VHS cleaner.” They’re widely used during gay sex and at gay sex parties, one reason being because they relax smooth muscle tissue in the anus, making penetration easier. “Poppers” are small amber bottles filled with nitrates that, when inhaled, create a fleeting, “head rush” high. I’ve watched with frustration as my silky premium silicone lube got depleted and passed around by greedy party-goers. Don’t bring the largest, most expensive bottle of lube you own, in case it gets lost, left behind, or worse - shared. Bring your own lube, condoms, and other essentials.Įven if the host says lube or condoms (or whatever you need) will be available, it’s always best to bring your own. Know what kind of party or venue you’re going to so you can be prepared to make choices within your comfort levels once you’re there.ĥ.
Some parties are condom-friendly others are bareback-only. Many parties at public venues will prohibit the use of drugs, so if you’re curious about group sex or sex parties but wish to avoid drugs, your local bathhouse may be the best first step. Some may feature drug use others are exclusively sober. Some parties ask you to hide your features with a hood or mask. While they may still be invite-only (or you may need to be on some sort of mailing list), the expectation to play with everyone doesn’t exist at these. That said, some private sex parties are massive, because some private residences are massive, with hundreds of attendees. You can watch, participate, play in a group, or tuck away to a semi-private space (if such spaces are available) for more one-on-one action. On the other hand, there are virtually no expectations of attendees in public spaces or sex clubs. Parties like these can be more personal than those at a public venue, but that comes with its own benefits and drawbacks, too. You may be expected to play with everyone there, or at least not be obvious as to who you’re less interested in. They may be invite-only, or you may need to “know a guy,” and there will sometimes be a host who you need to thank. Sex parties in private residences are, well, private, and usually smaller, so the expectations of attendees are different. House or apartment parties in private residences are usually free, but not always - larger ones may require a fee or have a suggested donation. Public venues (warehouses, sex clubs, bathhouses, et al.) may require a ticket or charge an admittance fee. Know if the sex party is happening at a venue or private residence. If you’re at a bathhouse or a private party, you should probably lose your shoes and socks, too.ģ. This rule of thumb really only applies to official venues - circuit parties, sex clubs, and so on - where you may be naked but keep your shoes and socks on. Tall socks (the fetish wear brand Nasty Pig sells a good collection) make for a perfect place to stash your ID, credit card, cash, lube, and other essentials when you shed the rest of your clothes. My queer identity is tied immovably to the most intimate parts of my life the men I fuck, the men I kiss and grind in public, my positive HIV status, my sex parties, my slutty nights.
Queer sex is and always will be a middle finger to the hetero establishment, a threat to the dominant paradigm, and - for this queer man, at least - the most beautiful part of my life. A sexual component has always underscored Pride’s history as a collective community defiance, an act of celebration and visibility. Let’s get one thing straight: Pride may have started as a protest, and its function within the community may be in flux, but among other things, it has always been about sex. This June, a particularly slut-shame-y meme made the rounds online, which claimed to espouse what pride “is.” it juxtaposed a black-and-white photo of an early Pride march with signs and fists raised, captioned “THIS IS PRIDE,” next to a photo of two men grinding each other on a float with speedos and rainbow flags, captioned “THIS IS BULLSHIT.”